.438 here we are, reflections of a god gone mad

so much has been happening, i won't dare bore you with the details.

but for now,  toots' father penned a book, a rather great one, 
and on this day he bought over a shipment so that we could all open them and celebrate said accomplishment together.

("a poem for ronnie's daughter" a dedication to my father)

get your copy here: www.tevsmith.com

(p.s: i've been focused a lot on video as of late. 
this promo teaser is just a drop in the ocean of what i'm presently working on)

.317 gangsta turtle

this is a 'behind the scenes' video trailer i shot, documenting the week leading up to ellie's showing at mashed, a whyy event. i'll be making a more detailed, narrative, biopic of her explaining the concept behind her line's name, the process it takes to do her art and the life of a wife, mother, artrepreneur.

instrumental: the recipe, kendrick lamar

.295 trust no man

humans are cruel. 

and while i know it is virtually impossible for me to stop loving and trusting in them, in this moment i am paused. too hurt by recent moments to put faith in future ones. so many of us lie to ourselves, so deeply, about who we are, we inadvertently hurt and lie to the people around us. it's a dishonor to the people who love you. but...that's the world we live in. that's the world i do not fit it. ownership be damned. victims are in surplus. ones growth, solely focused on the outside, while soul and heart and pulse and truth and love slowly wilts away on the inside. and change? change is just a word we throw around unknowingly ignorant, to our own arrogance, of believing we are done with such. if you're not growing...you're dying. painfully slow. and dragging the people you "unknowingly" lie to down with you. it's cruel, it's hurtful and enchantingly wicked, to not seek, find, and fix our own ills, before releasing them with no regard to any soul that dares to love you.  

i love too hard...for soft efforts.

.208 michelle's bridal shower

té ' posted a video snippet of a bridal shower i shot last summer on my fb page and it has my creative juices simmering. realizing that i rarely post shoot photos...

(partly due to time. i am only able to edit, both, client works and my own, when toots is either napping or sleep for the night. presently: she has a horrible stomach virus, which means i/we shall be in the house/bed all day long for the next two days. work and artistic play will fill the spaces whenever my sweet, ailing toddler is asleep again...which is pretty often. if she isn't asleep...she's vomiting. violently.)

...i decided to post, both, the video and a few shots from that day. hired, last minute, by the bride's best friend and wedding planner, beatrice, my day began in peaceful chaos. down a proper lens for the dark cathedral-like space, i end up buying a used, wide angle tamron lens (presently for sale) that cost more than my pay from said shoot, early that morning. thus, my new camera, out for repair, left me in a tedious tangle of "on again, off again" shenanigans with my old one.

this was the first shoot i did since child birth and brain surgery and death of my father pausing life as i'd known it. the first time i entered the world again since i'd acquired a new kind of weight that stuck to the soul as much as it did the body. but...it was perfect...in it's imperfections. the guests were happy and loving and laughing and i felt at ease, despite the initial set-backs. michelle's smiles are infectious, and her love was so abundantly present in the faces of her fellow thespians, life-long friends and devoted family members. all, so beautifully gathered to honor her.if you want to know somebody...just look into the eyes of those who love them most...