.461 :: in the spirit of my muslim father ::

"do i contradict myself? very well, then, i contradict myself.  (i am large, i contain multitudes)"

| walt whitman | "song of myself" |

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once upon a time i asked my father why he helped my mother "celebrate" christmas when he, in fact, was a dedicated muslim.

he told me that as devoted as he was, nothing outside of him had the ability to shake his core beliefs. that he often questioned the faith of people who were so easily rattled, to the point of being offended by the tributes of another.

but what about santa? but what about the government? but what about the lies and mis-truths of this country?

what about all of those things that you've taught me...inherently...to be wary of?

what about them? he said. i've done my job. you've proven it.  today is about your mother. she works all year long just to see her worth in the eyes of her children.

and he'd give an entire paycheck to her cause (i learned of this later).

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since having Toots, i have struggled to embrace my father's energy.

i am not as settled as him. sometimes my militancy overshadows my "family bonding" and i have missed major moments within my own family because of it. aunts and uncles and cousins and elders all gathered to embrace and love and i, the  known distant one, tucked away because i have yet to learn...how.

but i am learning.
 i am trying to find a blend with my mother. for the sake of my child, for the sake of myself, because i am realizing some very important things: life is short. i have no idea how much longer i will be here (in this country, or on this earth, for that matter) and i want Toots to experience in the joy that i've shared with my mother as i did as a child.

something that brings my mother joy should not bring me upset. 

i put my own feelings to the side...embraced my father's spirit...and let this happen.

a beautiful contradiction.

singing and drumming with grandma and si-si

but like my father taught me early on, Toots is fully aware of one important fact: 

none of this...is real.

(((happy holidays)))

.460 the creativity project :: family ::

the one thing i find most endearing about family...is the lack of "personal space" needed when with them.

  

a mother kissing her child. 

an assuring smile between sisters. 

a daughter, unknowingly trusting, perched upon her father's shoulders.

:: intermission ::

i shot a large family reunion over the summer.

in between shots, i became transfixed with the two elders as they watched their family, trying to imagine what was going through their collective minds: 

"we did this. all of these children and grandchildren and great grands and great-great grands...we did it all")

:: end intermission ::

a mother fixing her graduate.

a hug from her tiny cousin who thinks she is magic.

a niece rests her chin on her aunt.

a father and son, nustle.

an uncle nibbles his niece.

a daughter climbs on her father.

a baby pacifies himself with his mother.

a grandfather talks to his (fussy) grandson.

"in every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future"

|alex haley|

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please visit one of my favorite 'photography mothers', singwa lim at buckeroomama, to see her take on this month's theme. 

she is dynamic at capturing, both, the lives of her children and the pulse of the culture and street life bolstering around her. 

when you are finished with the circle, please join us and share your own 'family' themed images on the creativity project facebook page :)

(a wild-haired "usie" for the road)

.459 :: 34th birthday ::

it's been such a while since i've posted a blog that wasn't for my photography group, that even posting this one feels odd. BUT - in an effort to lighten the shadow that looms on my heart from the NON-indictment that fell on my birthday, i am choosing to breathe in the moments that brought me peace on that day. the homemade cake, made from the hands of my mother and daughter, the handwritten card of my child and the sheer excitement she expressed in giving it to me, the pretty and comfy cardigan my mother bought for me and the time spent with one of my favorite people on earth (why, those awkward, "don't take a picture of me" portraits at the bottom were taken by him)...

because while this country continues to show me just how much it devalues me life, my family, lovingly, shows me it's worth.

.458 the creativity project :: art ::

bariq cobbs: living art.

chance meeting while riding the subway.

he played with toots and showed me his art

while we talked about art and life not being separate 

and i remarked in my mind that nothing in life is actually "by chance".

  

  

zsudayka nzinga. my fellow elephant. mother of my child's oldest sibling. 

she is strength in aries form and paints wounds and wars and love and life in every stroke of her being.

please visit fav the super talented madeline cedeno (maddy) over on her blog at madheartsblog.com 

and view her dope urban take on this month's theme (which is an awesome follow-up to mine own, actually, lol).

then, afterwards, please join us and share your own 'art' themed images on the the creativity project facebook page :)

.457 the creativity project :: feet, hands, bodies, wrinkles, age::

i'm obsessed with human...touch.

self portrait taken from this tumblr post.

(this is toots' baby brother, tegan! how cute is he? his mother is now a sister to me)

please visit one of my favorite 'photography mothers', singwa lim, at buckeroomama to see her take on this month's theme. 

there is magic and wonder in the eyes of her children and she does a beautiful job at capturing it in their daily lives. 

afterwards, please join us and share your own 'body part' themed images on the the creativity project facebook page :)