.329 day 306

litter of kittens was born under my jeep. five sweet, barely walking kit bits snuggled under their mother. this little one kept rolling away from the rest. in fact, i had to put on gloves (you should never mark a new kitten with your scent) when it began to pour down raining and place her back near them all, her teeny, tiny, kitten cries barely audible over the hard patter of rain hitting their shelter. i borrowed my mother's car to not disturb their space. and my neighbors provided food and water so that cat mama (corny 70's blaxploitation play fully intended) could replenish while she rest. 

.291 day 262

things didn't start going awry until i start letting people move beyond the point where i generally turn them all away.

(loners don't keep love. we find it and hold it with a barely there grasp)

i don't do hurt well. i don't do lost well. but what i do, do well...is seclusion.

everything happens for a reason. i birthed an aquarian. the only child that i will ever have.

sometimes i tire of optimism. but then what? 

"but then what" keeps me going. it always has.

but...then...what?

none of my thoughts make sense tonight.

(god favors babies and fools)

as a child, i use to watch plastic bags blowing in the wind. would follow them until they reached a point i could not venture to, then imagined all of the people that they passed, all of the places that they traveled to, obsessed on where their destiny ended. i presently do the same with balloons that float beyond the clouds, both, envying and pitying their freedom. there they go, i think, soaring to heights man can never reach without tools, only to die the moment they're out of the atmosphere (cause life is morbidly ironic like that)...

.263 day 236

.116 day 101