.340 day 317

toots is the only thing keeping me grounded. keeping me 'here'.

without her...i'd simply...let go...and float...away.

i am a walking shell of who i was.
a portal of pain.
so deep, it pours out of my pores when i am not looking, 
beckoning to hungry souls who feed off of the broken 
(and that is who i am)
a mom who smiles and tickles and kisses throughout the day, 
and cries and screams and seeps out throughout the night
into sheets drenched in tears and sweat and prayers
and pleas that go unanswered.

.121 day 105

human beings are empty. 

desolate souls housed by paper thin flesh. 

 (i wish i didn't know) 

pretty words. ugly spirits.

(i'm tired)

think i'll stay where the angels lay. 

somewhere between here and there you'll find me.

(if you truly wish to look)

.69 day 57

dear hurricane sandy: hasn't haiti dealt with enough?

i ventured outside today. cabin fever settled in and my emotions moved faster than this storm's sudden wind. saw toppled lawn chairs, and trees, but nothing alarming to signal a hurricane had passed. i suppose i am lucky. i am blessed. i am fortunate. but for sure, i am grateful. i am dry. my child is safe. worst residual lying within the confines of shady internet and cell phone service. i say a prayer for the soul's who have passed, and the souls left behind to mourn them. then, i look to the trees, and smile, for they are resilient. standing strong through the worst of weathers, worst of life, while holding secrets and history in the palm of their branch. they keep me hopeful. they keep me striving. they keep me strong. my silent theme music, my goal in life, to simply learn to live life as a tree.