.064 le sigh

"and she succeeded, on the second try, in hurling herself out of the world"

(the virgin suicides)

.046 one yourself.

everyone believes that their special (cause they are). everyone believes that no one can understand them (because they can't). everyone believes that they are all alone in the world, in how they feel, how they think, how they love (and they ARE, for there is only one you).

but...here's the thing, beloved: there is only one 'them'...too. 

humans are naturally self-absorbed. the sooner everyone gets that they are not the only one to feel this way, and validate any and everyone else who feels this way, the sooner we can all get the fuck over ourselves and be of true value to the world. when god created you...and your gifts...he created others...and their gifts...as well.

lessons for today:
- you cannot tell someone who thinks they know EVERYTHING - anything.
- if you constantly tell the people around that you are all alone, they will let you be just that.

:: pause ::

i am so ridiculously sad. it's a settle, barely there sort of sadness, but it's there, none-the-less. lingering just beneath skin, hiding behind my heart beats, i feel it when i swallow. the biggest tear is trapped somewhere in my throat.

but if i have learned anything in the past two years...is that tears...and screams...don't do a damn thing. doesn't prevent your brain from malfunctioning, doesn't bring back the dead, doesn't make someone love you with all of themselves, doesn't keep a baby from being vacuumed...

i feel like i'm at my breaking point. tired of images. of privacy. of looking "normal" while dealing with some of life's greatest turmoils for appearances sake. 

this challenge is good for me. needed. healing. something light and purposeless has taken on an even greater purpose...

(i'm glad only 2 people read this blog)

.05 top 3

there are 3 entities on earth that will always hold my highest favor: babies. elders. animals. of them all, i enjoy shooting babies and children the most. there is pristine beauty and wonder that lie in their eyes, energy, essence. they are unabashed in their actions. they boldly pick their noses. they cry when they feel the need. they are openly curious. and rarely are they camera shy...