.125 capa

last night i went to my niece's winter concert, at CAPA and was once again astounded by the amount of talent that exists in there. those children, our future, beaming bright with passion and possibility. this school is refreshing. fosters talents, creates confidence. many of philly's famed talent grew from hopes and dreams once planted here. as i walked the stairs to find seating on the balcony, i passed a painted sign in the stairwell. "art saves lives". i smiled, and thought, "well, isn't that just grand. for, art creates lives, too". 

.124 day 108

.123 day 107

her: when i think of narcissism, i think of you.

me: interesting. for when i think of narcissism, i think of me, too.

 (ha! get it?)

i used to love self-portraits. around the time i found photography, i was very much a loner, thus, naturally, i became my favorite subject. back then, i didn't understand photography. i just liked pictures. and frozen time. and freezing the spirit and energy within that time. today, i am still figuring out photography, but, no longer am i my favorite subject to shoot. i'm not quite sure if it's due to life, wounds and age setting it, or if this is just the natural course my heart is taking, but either way, i am trying to get back to both: my love of photography and my love of self-imaging. finding new and creative ways to capture my self has become a settle thrill. you never realize how much you see your own reflection, until you start to seek it and find it everywhere. car handles, store windows, spoons, whatever the medium, i am presently drawn to the me'ness within them.

.122 day 106

v. lee

friend and fellow sagittarius.

.121 day 105

human beings are empty. 

desolate souls housed by paper thin flesh. 

 (i wish i didn't know) 

pretty words. ugly spirits.

(i'm tired)

think i'll stay where the angels lay. 

somewhere between here and there you'll find me.

(if you truly wish to look)

.120 day 104

wawa. 

.119 lone soldier

and while all the children laugh and play,

off she goes to find her way.

(my little aquarius)

.118 day 103

"so, let me get this straight...i can rip this...as much as i want...and you guys are going to clap"?!

.117 day 102

"the night time...is my time...for just reminiscing"

nina simone

.116 day 101

.115 day 100

day 100. 

for me, this is a settle victory. almost as great a feeling as the end will be. me, the professional project starter. i, the unprofessional project finisher. no matter how insignificant the surface seems, this was a challenge. elated when i reached 7 days. did a jig when i reached one month. but after that it became my regimen, even when its purpose was inconvenient to my livelihood. cameras forgotten at home, or in car, or dropped on cold, wet concrete (severing expensive lens without insurance) during mercury retrograde. fussy toddler being every bit of the beautifully terrible, "almost two" year old that she is. clients checking time and emails, respectively, pseudo-patiently awaiting their photos. and me, all the time, wanting nothing more than to cruise the city, alone, with a back-pack full of pleasantries and my camera. 

and that is why this challenge persists. i needed a push. a way to successfully blend motherhood, art, love and business in way that unifies them all to greater levels of being. so alas, i am here. not my halfway mark, but close enough to see the possibility of where there challenge will take me. 

"all i need in this of sin, is me and my"---daughter. my camera. my freedom. my heart.