working for myself has had it's ups and downs. but the freedom it presently awards me as a mother, is by far the greatest of the "ups". i am ridiculously grateful to be able to parent toots, one on one, void of day-care centers and outside influences. to cultivate her mind and imagination and intelligence in a way that feels natural like bliss and love and play to her. and yet...there are times...like today, when a "down" moment hits us both. when my weight in work is heavier, and phone calls, and emails, and edits and errands, demands the lot of our day. when the meshing of work time, and our time, struggles to flow harmoniously:
wake-up. kiss. love. breakfast. she in her playroom, i in my own. working in my underwear, breakfast smoothie by my side. one hand on my keyboard the other free to taste an array of imaginary meals in the form of blocks and letters and crayons (because her kitchen set is downstairs). to drink suspect water out of tiny tea cups dirty from who knows what kind of toddler mischief. random pauses to dance to her favorite songs from her favorite toy or favorite gadget or favorite toddler show while phone calls and faxes and mommy's fevered paces decorate the background.
today...she was practically bouncing off the walls. bouncing so high and so much, i had to pause. this chile needed air. no park, as clouds loomed. no long drives, as work loomed. but enough time for a quick (yet, painfully slow) walk. went to the store. bought white polish and burning oils and hershey bars with almonds in them. made a client out of a local make-up artist dressed to the nines. attempted to teach toots to 'skip' on the way home. stopped and played in the drive-way before going back in...
one of the owners of the beauty store, a loving couple i've known for years, gave toots a silver ring.
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| trying to make me eat dirty foliage... |
note:
1. i look like a full mom, cotton cardigan and all.
2. i'm giving a new logo a try. i don't always feel like the whole website thing being on pics.
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