a typical work day for me...is not typical at all.
in fact, how i enter it, greatly determines how i maneuver within it. today...felt somber. a groggy, medicine induced hangover greeted me upon awakening, due to the forgotten, so taken later than usual, nightly dose of "peace" that controls residuals from my brain aneurysm. i did my best to focus on the task at hand, working on new website, with eyes squinting from the monitor's light and brain softly throbbing from toots' early morning, excited to be alive, high dose of energy.
i moved methodically. responded to emails and text messages on auto-pilot and stopped every few moments to play or sing or color with toots. this balance we have, of career life and mommy life, is a continued work in progress. no matter what the weight of my load, there are a few things that i make mandatory:
- eating our meals together, in her playroom, on her turf, surrounded by her toys and her energy (there are times when we're mostly in my room while i work, so this is a necessary balance) void of cell phones or laptops or anything that distracts us from our 'now'.
- playing at least one full active game of anything she desires. some days, it's horse-back riding, on others we cycle: her on her motorbike, and i, following, scrunched up on her tiny 'radio flyer' tricycle (given to her by my favorite uncle). and then, there are days where we just bug out and scream and run and flip and jump and fall until we're both spent from it all.
- reading at least one book together. typically, three times in a row...cause toddlers (at least mines) seem to love repetition. her present favorite is "silly cat" (i loathe this stupidly written, badly illustrated book) which we now have a record of reading eleven times in a row (i feel like she knows that i hate it and is purposefully torturing me. don't trust anyone under 3 feet).
- allowing her to help me with at least one task. putting clothes in dryer, stirring pancake mix, or even something like, helping me set up my product shots.
today, after our mandatory "bonding" time experience and some futile attempt at completing aforementioned task, i simply gave up.
my tiny assistant became cranky with fading pen ink, on tiny paper, which she held with tiny hands, as she pretended to write down fictitious notes that i read to her out loud. and i, too, harbored a bit of inner irritation as my own pint-sized patience began to wear thin. after putting her down for a nap, i picked up the latest copy of 'psychology today' that my older brother, supreme, left for me and read a beyond intriguing article about the brilliantly, beautiful minds of sociopaths. made me some peppermint tea, kicked off my fuzzy slippers and resumed my weekly marathon viewing of "dexter", as there's nothing more relaxing than watching people get murdered by a self-narrating genius.
this is the same piece of chaotic artwork toots put on my window a few posts back.
since then, we've both added to it.
so much so, unless the window is raised, the outside world is completely colored over.