humans are cruel.
and while i know it is virtually impossible for me to stop loving and trusting in them, in this moment i am paused. too hurt by recent moments to put faith in future ones. so many of us lie to ourselves, so deeply, about who we are, we inadvertently hurt and lie to the people around us. it's a dishonor to the people who love you. but...that's the world we live in. that's the world i do not fit it. ownership be damned. victims are in surplus. ones growth, solely focused on the outside, while soul and heart and pulse and truth and love slowly wilts away on the inside. and change? change is just a word we throw around unknowingly ignorant, to our own arrogance, of believing we are done with such. if you're not growing...you're dying. painfully slow. and dragging the people you "unknowingly" lie to down with you. it's cruel, it's hurtful and enchantingly wicked, to not seek, find, and fix our own ills, before releasing them with no regard to any soul that dares to love you.
i love too hard...for soft efforts.