.424 optical

bleh day. spent the bulk of it at the eye doctors, learning words i've never heard before and watching slides of my eye's nervous system. optic neurologist informed me of things i already knew: right eye isn't functioning as well as my left, parts of my peripheral vision has been compromised and the strain of my aneurysm is the source of the debilitating migraines that happen in and behind said eye. 

in truth, i'm more worried about trivial things as they compare and analyze...stuff.

hunger pains. my stomach is knotting and a few of the interns brought the smell of lunch in with them, tucked inside of lab coats and hanging onto hair. my nails. the thumb needs to be repainted, and as i look more intensely, i'm thinking, they all could go for a fresher coat (though painted just a day ago). my camera. i wonder how awkward the silence will be if i attempt to take a photo in here, peering through the same eye that they, themselves, are peering at. 

(i tried my luck. as it turns out, quite awkward, indeed) 

i settled for the one shot i took in the waiting room, the one shot i took when alone in the exam room and the one awkward shot i took when the doctor's back was turned (when she turned around, i quickly faced the camera to myself and  murmured "just a selfie" as an even more awkward explanation).

random cool things i learned while there:

1. canon makes the machines they use to take pictures of your eye.

2. nikon makes eye glasses.

3. every eyeball has a specific glow that can determine ones age.

4. after eyes are dilated, if one drives home and gets stopped, they'll be mistakenly viewed as being high.

5. if you find a pair of loose eyeballs, you can determine which is the left or right eye, just by the direction of the veins.
(right = shape of C | left = reversed shape of C)

aaaaaaand, you're welcome.

(cell phone shot)

.423 testing with portraits

i think...i think i'm falling in love with this lens.

how cute is he?! guru's eyes melt me.

.422 nikkor 50mm

becky gifted me an awesome 50mm lens that i intend to practice with, at least once a day. already i've realized that i'm not fond of it with stills, as i have to move back farther, meaning i would need a wider platform to sit my objects on. when i'm able to purchase the mini studio i want (specifically for product shots) i'll be able to manage it better, but for now i'm sticking with what i know. i do, however, love the amount of light it lets in and the milky depth of field it produces. i was über excited to try it out with portraits so i wasted no time shooting toots in her p.j's while she snacked on my product of choice: cheerios. it's evident i need to study and learn how to make the best of what it can do before i use it in an actual shoot, but these are what i got thus far, armed with nothing more than raw ambition. *note: do not pay attention to my lack of clarity (first timer here) but do notice the milky background. isn't it delicious?! eek! i can't wait to use it! test shoot volunteers = welcomed.

.421 becky, toots and ruby

saturday was an awesome day. i met one of my absolute favorite photographers, becky leatherman adams, a mother and artist whose children and family portraits are like mentors to my own. i admire her simplistic and clean portrayal of life and love and living, and was beyond honored when she asked to shoot toots. 

we met in chestnut hill, at a quaint breakfast nook where wine and foreign beer sat on display. we talked cameras and life and lenses as toots colored and giggled and occasionally picked fruit off of becky's plate. after brunch we strolled down germantown avenue to a park with wooden playground structures, while becky casually captured all the moments in between. toots in front of windows, toots at wooden tables and toots as she curiously picked at a bush bristled with thorns and small leaves. i watched her as she shot, picking up pointers on shooting children and smiling graciously at complimenting strangers who stopped to watch the tiny model. 

after our shoot we all hugged goodbye with praises and promises tucked into the folds of our embrace. she left for her four o'clock shoot and i left for my three o'clock, each of us armed with, both, the beauty of moments shared and the wonder of a friendship created. 

  

later that day...

(her name is ruby)

this is the face of a toddler who missed nap time. 

.420 color and still

"when life gives you lemons...(ask for tequila and salt)"

author unknown

"keep your coins, we want change"

banksy

“i can ask for cigarettes in every language” 

david bowie

i had a goal in mind, to replace certain photos in my still life gallery on my website.

(though only 2 of these photos made the cut)

.419 too cold for pumpkin painting

trader joes had "pumpkin painting" today, but toots was not feeling the brisk of air that kept whooshing by. cold that crept into ears and up arm sleeves and pant legs when no one was looking. cold that drifted into your immune system when your guard was down (and neither of us handles illness well). we grabbed some goodies, a few non-essential groceries, free magazines and headed indoors to the library where warmth and wonder live.

  

.418 falling for myself

one, two, three, four | tell me that you love me more
sleepless, long nights | that is what my youth was for
[FEIST]

.417 growing imagination

"we're a family of readers", says my mother, and she is right. books, the first weapon she armed us with, have been apart of my life since before i could speak. an advocate of the written word, my mother made the art of buying books and reading books, as much of a tradition as celebrating ones birth. she cultivated a love of words so deep, first within her own children, then within her grands, i'm partly convinced that words are in our dna, as real as skin or moles or "good growing" hair. i wasn't surprised when she announced, the other day, that it was time for toots to have her own library card. having read every book to her from her own growing collection, i'm excited about the new imaginative places we're sure to visit with a world of books at our disposal. 

i was bred to be a writer. regardless of whatever creative path i choose to journey through, at my core, i'm rooted in words. my mother instilled the beauty of reading and the structure of writing. my father, who use to read parts of his memoir to me, cultivated the art of shaping words into emotion, like the way an artist strokes paint in blank spaces, deliberately. 

words make me happy. language is astounding.

i am drawn to people who use them artfully, distinctively, each time that they speak. like my sweet-voiced, clever word using toddler is learning to do. toots, who loves books and adores the library. who memorized her favorite story so well, you'd swear she could read. who loves poetry and cadence and the rhythm that language can sing. it's pretty awesome, to share a love of literature with her, to just be able to experience her falling in love...with the written word, too...

.416 selfies

1. no point for this blog other than me feeling kinda hip in my favorite military thrift.

faved, 'cause it's presently the only fall jacket of mines that still buttons over my abnormally growing tits.

(they never returned back to their pre-baby | pre-breastfeeding size)

2. the pocket book is also a thrift gift, given to me by my elderly, jewish neighbor on the day she moved away.

(she was my neighbor for 11 yrs, so, basically, we're practically related)

3. i haven't washed my hair in over a month. the most love it's gotten is a bi-weekly argan oiling. 

(it's so matted, i'm sure some parts are locking by now...which i don't really want...i think)

(tights by french connection)