daddy.
his hat. his keffiyeh (tied around my body). his lock. his scent. his humor. his love. his spirit. his everything. now lives in me, too. he brought back my art. brought back the self that lived pre-lost, pre-aneurysms and life going left. vulnerability and fearlessness. the staple of my me'ness. it's there. it's coming. it's here. it's showing. dear daddy, i hear you. i feel you. i am you. i honor you. goddammit, i cry for you. i ache for you. i heal for you. and i'm going to show the world, how a daughter raised by you, loved by you, unabashedly praised by you, will be EVERYTHING i'm meant to be...because of you.
starting...with...my heart.
wow, I am overwhelmed by your fearlessness and so so proud to know you. I remember when I found out that my dad died, my son was in the other room and I didn't want to frighten him so I buried my face into a pillow and screamed until my almost stopped!
ReplyDeletei am overwhelmed, too! i have these amazing people in my life *you were the first to do so* who speak to my spirit when i am not listening and keep me going and make me live and make me love by being profound proof of god. i wasn't fearless when taking this photo, but i felt fearless after i did. he is truly here. you were right, sister talibah, he DOES have something in store. and because of one of my closet loves ever (elmeka), i can FEEL him. the image of you burying and crying and screaming and loving into that pillow made me swallow. i could feel you in that past moment. i can feel you now. cry. love. be. you are AMAZING. and proof that father's don't stop loving when they leave (because they never really do, do they?)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteu breathe beauty. thank u. bless u. (sorta mournful of the father i never had... my children are fortunate.)
ReplyDeleteHE is/was beauty, my love...i breathe...him.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletethat's beautiful
ReplyDelete(((thank you)))
Delete